One of the most remarkable friendships in the Old Testament is that between David and Jonathan. When you look at the text carefully, it becomes evident that in many ways Jonathan was the leader in the relationship. He had much more to lose. He took more initiative. He expresses commitment to David more often. The apparent heir to the throne was a man of great character and great grace. He provoked the ire of his jealous dad, but stood with him in battle until the end.
Some modern commentators on the text contend that the relationship between David and Jonathan was more than one of deep friendship. They assert that it was a physical same-sex relationship.
1 Samuel 18:3 states “And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.” David says of Jonathan, “Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.” One conclusion we sometimes hear is that these verses describe a sexual relationship. Does the text support that conclusion?
Both verses use the same word for love. What does that word mean? The Hebrew word translated love in these texts often (but not exclusively) refers to love between individuals. But it is not a sexual word. It describes Abraham’s love for his son Isaac (Genesis 22:2) or a slave’s commitment to his master that leads him to indenture himself (Exodus 21:8). It is the word used in the injunction of Leviticus 19:18 to “love your neighbor as yourself.” It’s the word the text uses to describe the relationship between Naomi and Ruth (Ruth 14:15). To argue that it is sexual in nature is to create a meaning foreign to the 35 times the word occurs in the Hebrew Old Testament texts.
When the Old Testament speaks of sexual love, it does use a Hebrew word translated “love” in English in Ezekiel 16:8. But it is a different word. Sexual relations are more often described (without the English word “love”) in terms of a Hebrew word sometimes translated as “to know,” as in Genesis 4:1.
The language of the Old Testament gives no support to those who wish to see a sexual same-sex relationship between David and Jonathan. Titus 1:15 states, “To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted.” The presumption behind the assertion that David and Jonathan had a sexual relationship may reflect that principle at work. It does not reflect careful exegesis of the Hebrew text.