Recent news reports reflect a new level of antagonism at words that are perceived as hurtful. Outcries and condemnation seem to fill the airwaves as people rip words or phrases out of context and label the one who spoke them as sub-human. Any poorly chosen but unintentional phrase spoken by a public figure can quickly result in a cry for resignation. This new reaction looks for offence when none was intended and polices syllables for political or personal gain.

The instant condemnation and eagerness to become offended is in line with our tendency to see ourselves as victims. Such condemnation, which is often more bitterly expressed than the original “offense,” shows that our culture has drifted from the careful and measured response to uncivil words that God would have us adopt. (This is not to suggest that people should not be criticized for patterns of vulgar or demeaning expressions that reflect prejudice and arrogance.)

Today we obsess about the emotional damage caused by words. This victim approach gives us permission to make unkind and bitter words of the past the reason why we can’t forgive, can’t relate, can’t succeed, or can’t become people of character and grace. It positions us to demand only affirmation and respect, believing that any other response will cause irreparable damage to our egos. It shackles us to the past and turns normal communication into a toxic arena where healthy conversation dies.

The world’s preoccupation with possible emotional damage has resulted in politically correct speech as well as other repressive solutions. Such responses are not new. Micah preached a message of impending disaster to a rebellious culture. The culture’s prophets would not hear of such negative things. “Do not prophesy,” their prophets say. “Do not prophesy about these things; disgrace will not overtake us.” (See Micah 2:6.) Jesus was slandered for associating with the outcasts, accused of healing by Satan’s power, and mocked even in his dying moments. Any culture that attempts to deal with the emotional pain of words by censoring the speaker will only produce more repression and fear.

For Christians, there is a better way. Remember the old adage, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”? It suggests that even malicious words can only damage the recipient to the extent he allows them to. If they are lies or slander, you do not have to believe them. One person can be in extreme anguish that someone would speak disparagingly of them, while another blows the statement off as the product of the speaker’s insecurity, envy, prejudice, or jealousy. We do have options about how we process what we hear. If we believe what God says about us is true, then we have facts to counterbalance the demeaning words we sometimes hear from others.

The biblical advice to those who hear malicious words lifts us from our culture’s victim mentality. Biblically informed people do not have to be crushed by the abusive words of others. Proverbs 10:14 states, “Wise men store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin.” Or consider Proverbs 15:2: “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.” Proverbs advises a cautious reaction to harsh remarks in Proverbs 12:16: “A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.” The wisdom literature of the Old Testament offers a better solution than the litigation, public outcry, and verbal lynchings that mark much of our public interaction these days.